Monday, April 4, 2011

Sadness and Guilt

Dear M,

Why do you never listen to me?

Why do you lie to a lot of people including me?

Why do you filter what you listen to when we talk?

Why do you use my words against me?

Why is it that you never try to understand my feelings?

Why do you walk away when we talk?

Why do you never try to consider our feelings?

Why do you expect people to respect you when I, who is close to you, feel betrayed and manipulated whenever you talk to me?

Why do I not say anything when I catch you lying most of the times?

Why do I feel guilty and sad when we fight?

Why do I feel that I've done myself and the world wrong for expressing my feelings to you?

Why can't I help but get mad at you sometimes when you try to avoid our conversations?

Why can't I stop making my voice louder when I feel that all my patience and restraints are being disregarded?

Why do I feel like I'm always at fault even when I did my best to make you listen to me?

Why do I feel depressed after you walk out on me?

Why can't I help myself in saying truthfully hurtful things whenever you leave me in the middle of the conversation?

Why did I grow up like this?

Why can't I even answer most of these questions?

Your Close Kin,


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