I've been thinking of what to add to my blog today. And this is one of those things I tend to ask myself.
Example, you're a married person. And you've been married for 8 years or longer. You and your husband (or wife) are all lovey-dovey for the first couple of years. However since passion does not tend to linger that long and responsibilities with the kids became a full time position, you eventually stop having time for each other. Although you still do family things together, it wasn't like it used to be...
You've noticed that he/she has grown a little distant from you (Definitely, one of the signs of a failing marriage.) . Getting home late from work, keeping her/his phone away from your prying eyes (saying that you should respect each other's privacy) and staying away from your loving hugs and embraces combined with subtle excuses such as "I'M really tired/ busy/ stressed." or "NOT feeling good/ in the mood/ into it right now" (Highlight the best answer from the choices). - those lines are 90% infidelity implications!!!
To cut to the chase, you felt something was going on and decided to INVESTIGATE what was currently keeping your spouse busy- discovering that he/she was having an affair for a couple of months already.
Now my question is, which would hurt more:
a) He/ She having an affair with a friend of yours (perhaps a family friend/ a relative of yours/ your best friend or worst a sister/brother) or;
b) He/She having an affair with a person he/she met in a bar or strip club that grew into a relationship of constant communication, tender affection and blazing passion.
A typical answer would be, DEFINITELY A- a classic case of betrayal. Why wouldn't your heart be broken upon knowing you were betrayed by two people who you loved and trusted? It's even more painful if the person you talked to about your problems and marriage failures was the one your partner had an affair with.
On the contrary (in a sick and twisted sense), B is a pride crusher. What dignity is left to learn of your spouse's desperation for temporary earthly satisfactions given by someone he/she used to compensate (need not be monetary at all. It could be a house, a deal, a promise of security, financial /personal aid or the poor man's bribe- I'm willing to leave my family to be with you.)?
To cut to the chase, you felt something was going on and decided to INVESTIGATE what was currently keeping your spouse busy- discovering that he/she was having an affair for a couple of months already.
Now my question is, which would hurt more:
a) He/ She having an affair with a friend of yours (perhaps a family friend/ a relative of yours/ your best friend or worst a sister/brother) or;
b) He/She having an affair with a person he/she met in a bar or strip club that grew into a relationship of constant communication, tender affection and blazing passion.
A typical answer would be, DEFINITELY A- a classic case of betrayal. Why wouldn't your heart be broken upon knowing you were betrayed by two people who you loved and trusted? It's even more painful if the person you talked to about your problems and marriage failures was the one your partner had an affair with.
On the contrary (in a sick and twisted sense), B is a pride crusher. What dignity is left to learn of your spouse's desperation for temporary earthly satisfactions given by someone he/she used to compensate (need not be monetary at all. It could be a house, a deal, a promise of security, financial /personal aid or the poor man's bribe- I'm willing to leave my family to be with you.)?
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts.